So far, we’ve looked at grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, and at how entitlement and antagonism run through both.
Now we’ll turn to the narcissist’s defining traits. They are:
- Self-centered
- Insecure, and
- Manipulative.
The Three Core Traits
You can have one or two of these traits without being a narcissist. For example, a self-centered person may be self-absorbed but not manipulative. Or, someone may be insecure without demanding attention. A person may be manipulative but not mean—think of a calculating yet fair-minded businessperson.
But a narcissist is self-centered, insecure, and manipulative.
Narcissists rely on external validation for their sense of self-worth. They manipulate people to gain attention and lash out if they feel they aren’t getting the right support. They prioritize their need for validation over the feelings of others.
In the next few sections, we’ll dive into the three traits to draw a picture of what makes narcissists tick.